Have you ever wondered who you really are? Whose skin are you really wearing? Are you just your mother’s child? Your husband’s wife? Your children’s mother? Who are you at work? Church? With your acquaintances? It’s amazing how the skin gets kneaded and transformed when peer pressure is pushing on you. From the day of birth we are constantly trying and somehow succeeding in changing ourselves to fit into whatever skin that is pushed our way. I used to wake up before the sun ready to do it--whatever it was. Lately I am having the hardest time trying to figure out who I am and what I am supposed to be doing in life. And have wondered where the zeal has gone.
As long as I can remember I wanted to be an artist and then I wanted to write. How happy I was when I realized I could do both. How I fell into the field of childcare I don’t know. I used to not even like children. I constantly hear how I have a gift from God, this is where and what I am supposed to be doing…yada, yada, blah, blah, blah...you know the words. Over the past few weeks I have been feeling as if my skin has been stretched around this profession by those around me and I am about to pop a thread.
I believe writing a blog really helps, because as I write the answers to my thoughts always come forth. This will be the new me, the me who shares all learned experiences... wrapped, tied with a bow and stamped take it or leave it.
It's not that I want to stop working with children it is the knowledge that my world around me has really changed. My main reason for working from home was to be with my daughters. My daughters are remolding me from the 'mommy skin' into the mother skin and now into the 'Lovey'.
My daughters have graduated from college and working on their dreams. Life has changed. I had been their instructor in life for twenty-seven very close years and the new skin that's trying to take over is grating. I feel like I'm a butterfly stuck in between the cocoon and the free world and just like that butterfly I need a moment of rest.
I'm his 'Lovey' |
My daughters have graduated from college and working on their dreams. Life has changed. I had been their instructor in life for twenty-seven very close years and the new skin that's trying to take over is grating. I feel like I'm a butterfly stuck in between the cocoon and the free world and just like that butterfly I need a moment of rest.
This summer I'll be 53 and I'll shake out the wrinkles of this new skin and hopefully settle into the whole new me. The me I know I was meant to be. A published writer, a fulfilled parent, and a loved grandmother. I have set my goals in stone and if I have to throw them at this glass wall that's holding me back from the finish line of success, I will. Last year I struggled with my new venture into self-publishing, I have now succeeded with seven books. Now for marketing them and discovering the new me.
No Response to "The Joke is on Me"
Post a Comment