The Natural Parent-Growin' UP Green

Only in America | Dare to Celebrate 60 Days of America's Diversity

2012-02-04T11:03:00.000-08:00

How lucky we are to have been born in America. In America, at the birth of a baby the happy shout goes out for first its sex and second if it is healthy. Rarely do you hear the question, what race is it? In America you are born boy or girl, the rude interruption of race and classification only surfaces at the introduction of paper work.

If the world looked at babies as just that,tiny beautiful little people with inquisitive eyes, chubby cheeks, dimpled knees and elbows....how wonderful life would be.

http://www.povblog.net/2012/02/mother-killed-for-shaming-family.html

How awesome it would be if we in America celebrated the birth of a child as if it were the newest and most welcomed contributor to society. Loved them, encouraged them, and educated them to be sensitive, caring individuals. Regardless of race and ethnicity.

http://bit.ly/ReviewThis

History was written in more than Black & White and Beads on a String-America’s Racially Intertwined Biographical History lauds loudly the accomplishments of all races that helped make America the great country it has become. America’s glorious multi-racial history is finally acknowledged.

What is the Age for Employment http://www.povblog.net

2011-09-25T16:40:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago I wrote a pretty awesome article pertaining to the employment process and http://www.povblog.net/2011/09/leaving-age-for-employment.html Go over and take a peek.

Following Your Path.

2011-09-09T04:37:00.000-07:00

I love this picture. It is the route my daughter and I take when we walk on the weekends. It reminds me so much of how life can be. We can separate and go to the left or the right but eventually we end up back on the single path we should have taken in the first place. Or we can just sit on the bench and watch life pass us by.

I Want to Work!

2011-09-08T18:16:00.000-07:00

I was blessed to be able to write a guest post at http://www.povblog.net/2011/09/leaving-age-for-employment.html.
It is a point of view article on aging and job searching. Oh, but the things I could have said. I don't believe there is anything worse than being over 50 and failing at finding a job, especially in the field where you bvd worked throughout your entire work history.

Twent Years - Who's Counting?

2011-08-27T07:46:00.000-07:00

20 years is the equivalent of 7,035 days. It also equals 1,044 weeks, 175,300 hours, or 10,520,000 seconds.

That is how long the presence of Mhia has blessed me.

Not enough time in the world....

Happy 20th birthday, Mhia Enchante'.

Routines- Part 3

2011-07-10T07:17:00.000-07:00

Part 3- of setting routines in the book- "The Natural Parent". Content page-The Natural Parent Handbook

Routines-Part3. To Hold or Not to Hold

You can tell when a child is ready to lay on its own by their specific movements. This is a great time to also pay attention to these movements, and the signs the baby will give you, showing the readiness to be put down for sleep. Signs like the wiggle, the grunts and the very obvious movements depicting irritation and the need to be released.

Do you know how you feel when you are so tired no chair, couch or arms of a loved one makes you comfortable and all you want to do is lay on your bed or any bed for that matter? A child feels the same way.

When you shift their positions in your arms or on your lap and they wiggle like crazy and can’t seem to get comfortable, it is past time to put the child in the bed. It is best to take heed to the infants wants and enforce this reaction. The sooner you begin learning the signs and practicing the routines the sooner the habit of going to sleep in the bed, on their own, will be ingrained. How happy your child will be when you or the caregiver (if your child is placed in the care of another while you work) can read his signals for need for sleep. And the best thing is, you won’t have to call Nanny 911 or Super Nanny to tame your sleep deprived 2, 3, 4, or 5 year old youngster.

The major mistake a parent makes during bedtime is the playing in the middle of the night with the infant. When the baby wakes in the night it is best not to use it as an opportunity to play. Sure, I know you worked pass bath and bed routine and miss your little darling, but play needs to wait until the sun raises high in the sky. Just change, feed, and return the infant back to the crib with the minimal of conversation and the softest light or you will have the baby believing he should wake and play in the night. Not cute when the child becomes older, refuses to go back to sleep and you are tired and have to get to work in the morning.

Go to Bed Kid-Part 2

2011-07-10T07:16:00.000-07:00

Still working on the WIP "The Natural Parent"- I decided I would write this book online and see how it goes.

Bedtime Routines-Go to Sleep Kid

When it comes to the sleep habits for infants a new parent is always bombarded with advice. When Mhia, my youngest was released from the hospital at two weeks old she weighed 4lbs. 12 oz. and slept all night. I was ecstatic with this. The child ate well during the day, was very curious, slept soundly through the night and woke around 5 in the morning. The pediatrician had a problem with this. She felt I should wake the baby every three hours for a feeding. Mhia wasn’t having it. She would refuse to nurse and after a couple of nights of us both being harassed, I left her alone. Who was I to know how her internal clock worked? At each weekly visit to the pediatrician the child had gained her required weight and everyone was happy. With the older girls that was a different story. Maybe the fact they stayed in the hospital for five and six weeks respectfully, had round the clock hand and foot wait service, and a nervous mom who constantly put her hands on their backs or chest to check their breathing, all added up to twitchy sleepers. I had to establish a routine with them quickly.

I believe in rules, discipline and set times for bath, bed, and beyond. Children should be in bed by 7 p.m.-8 at the latest. And if this bedtime routine is implemented in the child as an infant by the time the child has entered school, it will have been ingrained into their system.

In my home as the girls were growing up we would eat dinner together by 6 p.m. have baths by 6:30 p.m. and then enjoy some form of quiet entertainment until 8 p.m. After that it was bedtime. This would give me time to clean and enjoy whatever I wanted to do before I went to bed. This routine never wavered until they were at least ten years old. If they didn’t go to sleep they had to be in their rooms.

The first place to start the bedtime routine is the first night after birth. Whether the child is born in the hospital or in the home, the first night is the best time to begin a bedtime routine. If your baby rooms with you it will be extremely hard not to hold him while he is asleep or to cuddle and snuggle with your sweet smelling little girl until she wakes, but whatever you start with the baby will become its habit. If you pat the back or rock or hold the pacifier in the mouth until he sleeps, in the middle of the night when he wakes you will have to do the same. Remember the old saying ‘whatever you did to get her you will have to do to keep her’? It works the same with everything you do with an infant because you are imprinting. It is never too early to teach a child to sleep on its own. I’m not saying not to hold your baby and show it love what I am suggesting is for you to help the baby to learn to put itself to sleep in its own bed.

After you have bathed and fed your infant, cuddled together for a little bit and read or sing a soft lullaby, place the child in the bed just before she goes to sleep. I repeat, before she goes to sleep. This will allow the baby the opportunity to learn what sleep position she likes best. Turn the light down low, turn on a little soft music, classical or a soothing learning CD like “Sounds Like Fun” by Discovery Toys. There are two reasons I suggest this CD, one is because I have had this selection way before the birth of my daughters. Two, I first bought “Sounds Like Fun” as a cassette, used it all of the girl’s lives and integrated it into use for my home based childcare center. When the tape finally broke I called Discovery Toys hoping to be able to buy another and was informed the company would replace the cassette with a CD for free! I was sold on the Discovery Toys for life because everything you buy has a life time guarantee. The songs go through the range of singing about manners, days of the week, counting, letter sounds, Spanish and a lot more all with soft music playing in the background so the baby sucks in a little knowledge as she sleeps.

If you start and continue the sleep routines from infancy you will have none of the bedding problems seen on the television shows as the child grows older. Put your routines in writing (carve in stone) so any emergency caregiver or babysitter will know how to maintain the consistency which will keep the child comfortable, secure and on the right track.

Rearing Adults-When Does a Human Begin to Learn? #IAN1#SampleSunday

2011-07-10T06:45:00.000-07:00

A rough draft from "The Natural Parent"

Chapter I-WHEN DOES A HUMAN BEGIN TO LEARN?

How Much Do They Really Know?

KARRA-2WEEKS/2LBS.

It was December 1983; I was sitting on the edge of the bed in the bedroom of my mother's house looking into the face of my first born daughter. She had arrived nearly two months premature, and I'd waited six long miserable weeks to get her home, and now there she lay. Her tiny, sixteen inch body weighing in at four pounds, twelve ounces , released tiny wisps of air as she slept quietly in my arms.

She was so much like a doll I couldn't believe she was real. Nothing moved. She was so motionless, I thought maybe I had done something to break her while releasing her from the blankets. And then she did it. This movement from such a tiny being changed my way of thinking, forever. She lifted one of her little arms, moved her tiny bony fingers towards her head, and scratched a spot near her temple. I was like, “Oh my God, I didn't know they could do that.”

In all of my life it never dawned on me that a baby so young and so tiny would know when their head itched, let alone when or how to scratch the itch. It was like a light was turned on. I had already been a childcare provider for nearly ten years and witnessed the intellectual development of many babies. It could have been the fact they had been older, but I really just never thought of infants in the remotest way as self thinking individuals. Just the concept of the idea, a baby could really think to scratch made me wonder how much a newborn infant really knows.

My life was totally changed. From then on I watched every movement my little girl made and took note. When I returned to work I was no longer just a child care provider I was now a student of human nature. I had a new respect for children and God. I was amazed at them and awed with her. In her first days of life I was warned she would be physically and mentally delayed. What an ever lasting joke, she made of those statements. Karra has been, and will remain in my mind, a genius. She was talking in full understandable (off the chart)sentences by the age of 18 months, had a firm grasp on the basic educational foundation, and could read 9th grade level in first grade. Has she ever stopped talking? No, she talks in her sleep.

Years have passed and yet I am constantly flabbergasted by the intelligence hidden in the depths of the eyes of a baby. They are like blank slates born to be interrogated. For my own children I have always thought of them as older than the day they were born and treated them as such. I believe that a child whether born at six, seven, or nine months gestation are not the one minute old individual thrust into the cold bright lights of the delivery room, but are in fact, the six, seven, nine month and one minute old little human they opened there eyes to be.

I often wonder how much knowledge God and the angels gave to the child before He let them come to us and just how much do they remember. And when they are laughing at the ceiling, are they and the angels laughing at us when we can't understand the cooing and gooing of their conversation? Sometimes as I watch the infants in my home based childcare center I feel as if I can almost hear what the children are thinking. I look into their eyes as I hold them and ask them what they want, offer a choice and can read the yes or no they give in response. It’s so amazing. After the awakening of seeing my minuscule daughter scratch her tiny head I have never treated a baby as a mindless, person just because they couldn't control their body movements or functions. Sometimes I feel like a 'baby whisperer' and my mind is controlled by the question or answer I see in their eyes.

How magnificent and intelligent God made these youngest of humans. For a long time I treated children as if they knew nothing until I accepted the fact, if God could give the intuition of survival to the smallest animal/creature why couldn’t He do the same for an infant. I’m not saying they can do everything on their own, but I do believe if we as adults, paid my attention to their reactions we could learn exactly what they are trying to tell us. If I have learned nothing else in life I have learned that all life is valuable and teachable. And that in the main scheme of things we should remember our children will not grow up to be babies, but to be adults.

Loving The Changes

2011-06-04T04:38:00.000-07:00

Four months ago I became an official grandmother, well "Lovey" to Jett Parker Ellington Wade. Not being called grandma has nothing to do with vanity, but I only remember my grandma when hear the title. My mom is 'Granny' and my sister's grandchildren call her 'grandmother'. I want to be that little fellow's lovey. The one he runs to when his mother is just not being tied around his finger.

Isn't it hilarious how our roles in life shift and change under our feet and we never really realize we are moving and reforming? It took a bit of time to inhale the fact I wasn't my mom's little girl anymore and was responsible for the lives of other humans.I only just accepted the fact I am no longer the mommy, but the mother. I'll be 53 in a couple of months and I just can't phantom that. I used to think that number meant you were old. I wonder if my mom felt that way. It's not the case of being an empty nester (kinda dumb term because the nest is never really empty. Fragments remain, ties are still there and the children always return, yeah).
One thing about being Lovey is the definite fact I have been given a gift. A gift of renewal and second chances. Whatever I couldn't do with my own I can rectify in a grandchild. No longer am I the harassed hurried single parent trying to rear and home-school three daughters. I am the calm collected person who saves him from (very)early morning boredom in the crib. I am the one who rushes hm down the stairs and out the door to catch the first morning breezes and sun burst through the clouds. I see the same joy (and of course adoration)in his eyes when he looks at me that the girls had. In him manly skills will be taught. Already he has his chores. He walks with me as we (I) feed the dog,put out trash, water plants, load the dishwasher. His babbling shows the joy he feels at doing housework. Wait a minute....maybe that's just me feeling the joy in being Lovey. Isn't he beautiful?

Ode to Grey

2011-04-16T05:17:00.000-07:00

Always watching

I love this brand new shade of grey. The shade in Jett's newborn eyes. The shade that doesn't rival, but completes the skies.

I can see the parting whispers of God with each flicker of his lashes. And smile at their sparkle when a remembered joy flashes.

I wonder at the knowledge the angels did share when I run my hand over the soft strands of his hair.

A real 'smeizer'

I'm really loving this brand new shade of gray

Setting Routines Right Out of the Womb

2011-04-13T15:03:00.000-07:00

LAYING DOWN THE LAW

(click picture)

We have a new voice in our house. Little as the fellow is, he tends to think he runs the house. Not bloody likely. As a childcare provider for over thirty-five years and a parent of three grown daughters, I honestly believe I have learned a lot. And so I share. First let's talk about routines.

ROUTINES-Right Out of the Womb

A good routine is a staple in the spine of life’s novel. It holds your world together. If you set routines, not necessarily schedules, at the introduction of the child in your life you will find everything runs smoother. You don’t have to think about what to do next, the infant will know what to expect from one time to another and the child will know and anticipate actions from one stage to another. A routine is different from a schedule because it doesn’t run on ‘time’ but on habit. It’s like knowing you have to put on your socks before your shoes. The time when you do it doesn’t matter just the process.

BED

There are two forms of routines I love the most when dealing with infants and young children, bedtime and bath time. Why you may ask, because my day will soon be over and relaxation would be my middle name. Just kidding, ha.

The bath time is a great time to interact to the child because you have a captive audience. As you clean their little bodies you are also massaging them which release the tensions of the day from yourself and whatever may have bothered the child throughout their day.

Rule 1: in the bath routine is to make sure you have everything ready and close at hand. You cannot leave the child to run and get a forgotten item. A lot can happen in ‘just a minute’.
Rule 2: Check and double check the temperature of the bath water and the temperature of the water faucet. Make sure the last water that has flowed through the faucet was the cold water to minimize the risk of the child getting burned if they happen to touch the faucet. I also suggest the purchase of one of those items on the market which covers the faucet to protect against of head injuries. The best way to avoid head injuries is to bathe the child at the foot of the tub away from the faucet. Tiny infants of course are cleaned in an infant tub, but the last water to flow through the faucet habit should be maintained.
Rule 3: Provide some sort of nonslip surface at the bottom of the tub, this can be either a rubber padding made for this purpose or a towel or infant blanket. Not everyone wants to use or purchase special tub seating.
Rule 4: Make sure you have a cordless telephone somewhere in reach, but not near the water. Having the telephone in the bathroom serves two purposes. A. You won’t have to run out of the room to answer it if it rings and B. If there is an emergency the telephone is near you and you won’t have to run out of the room to go and get it.
Rule 5: Don’t use this time for bathing the child as an opportunity to have a casual conversation on the telephone. Safety is your number one priority. No amount of gossip can replace the life of your child.

Remembering Our Place

2011-04-07T05:58:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, even as a mother you have to remember that you are a daughter. When things go wrong you still want to run home and be the baby. Even if you are the middle daughter.

The hardest times are when your mother is ill and you can't be there. What a bummer.

Those Sounds

2011-04-05T04:27:00.000-07:00

My theme song=-a video

I love it when I wake before everyone in the mornings and I hear the sounds coming from the bedrooms. The huff of the dog,a roll over in bed, a sneeze, a cough from downstairs and the tiny grunting noise from the baby signaling its almost time to eat....
All made it through the night and the world is perfect. Thank you, God.

Sorry, Kid It's Not All About You

2011-04-04T17:28:00.000-07:00

So, what do you tell your child when he/she thinks their life is the pits? Suck it up, deal with it and get over it. Life eventually gets better. Here's a treat.
Don't you think the constant happy ending fairy tale and the pumped up you're so great euphemism sets a child up for a giant plummet when they realize they can't have nor do it all? Where should the line be drawn?

Being a 'natural green parent '

2011-04-03T12:39:00.000-07:00

What is a natural parent? Heck what is a 'green' parent for that matter. Well in my mindset it doesn't have all that much to do with eating the best foods (all though that counts) and being green is not about saving the earth as much as it is about saving your sanity while rearing children. Then again, I guess that does factor into saving the earth.
This blog is about being green as in being a new parent and natural as in the basic instinctive way it comes to rearing your child or children. I'll share information I've learned after working nearly forty years in the child care profession, twenty-seven years of single handedly rearing and homeschooling three daughters in, through and out of college, a few hundred years of poking my nose in other people's business and the new joys of being a first time grandmother. So, grab a chair, maybe a pad and pencil, and let's share notes on being

A NATURAL PARENT GROWIN'UP GREEN in other words

Understanding the Rearing of Adults

The Joke is on Me

2011-04-01T07:05:00.000-07:00

I saw this picture of myself a family member posted on Facebook of all places and at first I wondered (and took a second look), who is that? I look at myself once in the morning and never really pay attention to what I look like or who I am.

Have you ever wondered who you really are? Whose skin are you really wearing? Are you just your mother’s child? Your husband’s wife? Your children’s mother? Who are you at work? Church? With your acquaintances? It’s amazing how the skin gets kneaded and transformed when peer pressure is pushing on you. From the day of birth we are constantly trying and somehow succeeding in changing ourselves to fit into whatever skin that is pushed our way. I used to wake up before the sun ready to do it--whatever it was. Lately I am having the hardest time trying to figure out who I am and what I am supposed to be doing in life. And have wondered where the zeal has gone.

As long as I can remember I wanted to be an artist and then I wanted to write. How happy I was when I realized I could do both. How I fell into the field of childcare I don’t know. I used to not even like children. I constantly hear how I have a gift from God, this is where and what I am supposed to be doing…yada, yada, blah, blah, blah...you know the words. Over the past few weeks I have been feeling as if my skin has been stretched around this profession by those around me and I am about to pop a thread.

I believe writing a blog really helps, because as I write the answers to my thoughts always come forth. This will be the new me, the me who shares all learned experiences... wrapped, tied with a bow and stamped take it or leave it.

I'm his 'Lovey'

It's not that I want to stop working with children it is the knowledge that my world around me has really changed. My main reason for working from home was to be with my daughters. My daughters are remolding me from the 'mommy skin' into the mother skin and now into the 'Lovey'.

My daughters have graduated from college and working on their dreams. Life has changed. I had been their instructor in life for twenty-seven very close years and the new skin that's trying to take over is grating. I feel like I'm a butterfly stuck in between the cocoon and the free world and just like that butterfly I need a moment of rest.

This summer I'll be 53 and I'll shake out the wrinkles of this new skin and hopefully settle into the whole new me. The me I know I was meant to be. A published writer, a fulfilled parent, and a loved grandmother. I have set my goals in stone and if I have to throw them at this glass wall that's holding me back from the finish line of success, I will. Last year I struggled with my new venture into self-publishing, I have now succeeded with seven books. Now for marketing them and discovering the new me.

New Things are Popping Out

2011-02-20T15:08:00.000-08:00

Spring looks as if it is about to pop up its long awaited head. I don't know about you, but I've had it with being cold and am looking for new things.
To start the spring off with hoops of joy, we have to say welcome the newest member of our family, Jett who made is entrance into the world on February 10th of this year.

Jett's little bottom is going to look great in a Tucker. You know what a Tucker is, right? TUCKER is the shirt every mother needs for her casually dressed child. The snapped crotch bottom keeps the shirt neatly down while allowing the style of the over shirt to hang out and over the waist band. The little tummy is never exposed to the elements or the eyes of others.

If Jett had a choice he would probably choose to wear this one, mainly because we haven't been able to keep the camera out of his little face. See more Tuckers at TuckerandBeads on Etsy.

Succulents Are the Best Plants

2010-07-20T15:31:00.000-07:00

There is nothing more beautiful than the plants God have made.

A Little Rain

2010-07-13T17:01:00.000-07:00

Isn't it beautiful outside today?

I love this awesome shade of gray.

Makes me think of God walking by,

His long gray coat brushing the ground, clearing the sky.

I love this awesome shade of gray.

I love the rain, the smell, the feel, and the sounds

I love the lightening and the tiny inklings of fear

I love the rain 'cause God is near.

Touching me with His every drop,

Loving me letting me know He'll never stop

I love this awesome shade of gray

Washing doubts, anger, what-ifs away

I love this awesome shade of gray
Without another word to say....
Isn't it beautiful outside today?

In the Beginning-

2010-07-07T11:51:00.000-07:00

I marvel at the magnificence of the workings of the Lord.
Oh, my God. Yesterday we decided to take a walk around our new neighborhood. As we stepped out the door we noticed a tree (we were thinking of cutting down) had grown flowers. One day none and the next this...

The intricacies the Lord has taken to make these flowers is breath taking. I have never seen this particular flower before. They started as little green buds, opened to form balls resembling rolled yarn and then bloomed into soft looking bushy combs with gold flecks. I can't wait to see what happens to the item poking from the end.

This tree has lay around the yard looking like a mess all bent over and growing wily nily and worthless. I marvel how beauty and worth comes from nothing. This is one of the reasons I decided to start a business on Etsy-- Growin'UpGreen. It is where I sell succulents in small jars.